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<p>[QUOTE=&quot;Mansons2005, post: 228217, member: 121&quot;]Back 2014, while I was at the White House accepting my Medal Of Honour for solving World Hunger (and curing cancer), the Hateful Hoards of the Westboro Besmirch Me Church suddenly attacked! They were clambering at the very gates of The District! Chaos reigned and panic ensued. Democracy (what little was left, in any case) was doomed.</p><p><br /></p><p>While Michele snapped a cell phone photo of the Gilbert Stuart portrait of Washington and called for someone to Save the Carrots in White House Vegetable garden, and Barack was calling on Congress to find an Insurance company to cover the inevitable injuries (including pre-existing conditions), I grabbed my date, Helen Mirren (who was wearing a totally inappropriate but luscious bikini Damn! STILL lookin FINE!) by the arm so we could save ourselves.</p><p><br /></p><p>Just then I espied Freddie Weddie Phelps, the Spawn of Bigotry and Stupidity himself, stumbling over the red carpet (it&#039;s difficult to walk on carpet when you are used to dirt floors) - the very red carpet that was laid in MY HONOUR! As he was helped to his feet by one of his followers (who happened to be his sister, AND his cousin, AND his daughter) he called on God to &quot;Destroy the Sinners, the Infidels, The non-Christians&quot;.</p><p><br /></p><p>&quot;This is NOT TO BE BORN!&quot; I cried, in retaliation.</p><p><br /></p><p>Realizing that the fate of reason and good taste was in my hands, and catching sight of a piece of the Nancy Reagan china, I snatched up a tea cup and hurled it with all my might...............</p><p><br /></p><p>It hit Phelps dead on, smashing the very organ that gave birth to his creed and unbelievable beliefs (unfortunately it missed his head). Just then the heavens grew dark and a strong wind from the North blew through the manse. With a crash of thunder, a blinding, blazing bolt of lightening burst through the west window of the East Room and destroyed every one of those Sinners, Infidels, and non-Christians&quot;.</p><p><br /></p><p>Yep, that&#039;s what killed Freddie Phelps and his inbred, white bread, half-breed family.</p><p><br /></p><p>I straightened my white tie, brushed off my tails, finished my martini, and Helen and I went to the Kennedy Centre to be there before the crowd that would soon gather to honour me for my foresight, resourcefulness and bravery.</p><p><br /></p><p>Oh, your rock....................I have no idea, I just wanted to share another boring bit of my past....................................[/QUOTE]</p><p><br /></p>

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